Sunday, October 29, 2006

"what good can come from new mexico?"

I've got alot on my mind. Mostly family stuff. I am just thinking, "why are we living so far from our family? what good will this do?" and "if we move, why aren't we even considering moving back to albuquerque?"

see, albuquerque is kind of like a black hole that sucks you in and you never get out. And the standard of living (and the pay) really sucks. But something in my heart keeps telling me I should consider pushing the idea of us being there. (Which is, I guess, why I'm blogging about it.) Frankly, I really hate New Mexico. I love the West Coast, I love L.A. culture, and I shudder at the idea of a "southwestern style" home where decorative rocks replace grass in the front lawn.
I have a lot of bad memories from New Mexico, too. But here's the catch- I feel more and more like a)my family needs me and b)I really need family. I'm at this really weird stage in my life, too, where I don't really tecnically have any plans or roots. I'm at a place where God can send me wherever he wants to send me.

So I guess I'm just asking for prayers. Prayers for myself, that I have peace and that I stop worrying about my family and prayers that I can do things like let my little brother live his life. And prayers that God will take me where I need to be and that I will be content with His plan for me. (Seriously, I really really hate New Mexico.)

1 comment:

Spanish Kitchenette said...

Puedo entender tu situación, aunque no esté o haya vivido tu misma situación ( perdona, pero prefiero escribir en español ya que para ésto me expreso mejor ).

Igualmente yo me estoy sientiendo así. No sé si estarás de acuerdo conmigo pero a medida que nos hacemos mayores y, por un lado, hemos deseado desvincularnos de nuestra familia para formar la nuestra propia, pero por otro lado, somos tan independientes y tampoco tenemos nada atado que cada vez más necesitamos el afecto de nuestra familia...

No sé, son como sentimientos opuestos. Yo, por ejemplo, me gustaría mucho independizarme, comprar o alquilar un apartamento y vivir por mi cuenta, teniendo así intimidad. Pero por otro lado, me da pena desvicnularme de los asuntos familiares, de llegar a casa y no hablar con nadie...

En fin chica, espero que encuentre sla estabilidad pronto.

Besos!