Tuesday, December 30, 2008
I'm pretty tired. I think I just poured out all of my leftover energy into the semester and then as soon as school was done, I just turned into a zombie. I've been sick since Christmas, so I am actually really tired. But tired in general. I think there must be a certain amount of energy points that you get in a year and by the end of the year, you just need to be refilled.
It wasn't the worst year of my life. I had a lot of family drama etc. but nothing that doesn't usually happen. And my cousin's witchy wedding was actually a good week because I was able to reconnect with my family. School is a blur, but I know I learned some things. My language skills have certainly expanded as I finished the required Greek and Hebrew classes this year and then took on Japanese. One of the best moments of this year has to be the day I figured out concretely that I am done with classes next December. It's scary and liberating at the same time.
My marriage this year was also pretty awesome. Going to Japan with Dennis was amazing, and I love seeing him serve others. I love how we have grown and evolved together. I was thinking about New Year's, which is mainly his traditions from Chile with the ball dropping on TV. I typically blog about this as "Chilean New Year's" as if I'm a tourist in my own home for this holiday. But really, these have become our traditions. And my husband is, if anything, a traditionalist which makes me love him so much more. I love our Christmas tree, I love our discussions, and things are good.
My faith isn't the strongest it has ever been but it isn't the weakest either. I saw God do good things for me and for others in 2008. Just looking at how many people generously gave for our mission trip to Japan, was an experience in faith enough. To say that Japan had an impact on my faith is an understatement. We didn't visit a third world country but I loved the people in Japan, who are so giving and kind and patient and humble (even to a fault) and who really are not that different from people here. I loved showing them my faith honestly. I loved moments like talking with one woman about how hard marriage really is, especially on days when you come home and are just too exhausted to even talk. It was important for me to show that I am a Christian but that I am also a real person who isn't perfect. The friendships are really what they have given to me, as I really love the email and cards and the continued conversations.
My New Year's resolution last year was to get better about my health, and I think I've pretty much kept that one. And I gave up celebrity gossip for Lent so I actually ended up not even returning really fully to celeb gossip. And I am a better diabetic.
So this year, on a faith related side, I am going to keep praying at night with my husband and I resolve to add "not hating" to my resolution list. I have become a major hater and it has really affected my faith. I hate certain things about my community, for example, and then I can't get past them to find any room to give out any love. But really, I've almost become one of those people who are just really apathetic. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. But it's hard to be graceful to people who are so clueless that you want to just quit trying altogether.
Here's to 2009. May I lose some more pounds, get some better blood sugars, a few more A's in school, and some money. And more grace in my heart.