Sunday, July 22, 2007

losing the extra baggage.

I threw away three boxes of my sister's things today. My mom would have been dead 4 years on the 25th and in September it will be 4 years since my sister's death.

Throwing away things that someone else treasured is a very surreal experience. It's just so strange to throw away things like little notes she passed between her friends or papers on science that she was proud of. Because although those things were special to her, they aren't to me. It's hard to throw the things away because I feel like the world wants me to mourn my family forever. I was telling Dennis today that I can't live the rest of my life in "luto" (grief in Spanish).

So it was liberating to throw away boxes of little things that I needed to throw away. And now we have a little more space in our spare bedroom. Bittersweet but necessary. Just weird. Like her journals from when she was like 7 years old, reading about how she experienced things so differently then I did. Or like clay handprints. I can't throw away a hand print that she made in clay. So I packed it up. I think I will give it to my dad.

*Sunday school anecdote: (on a lighter note maybe, depending on how you think...) One of the little boys in class was in charge of praying for the sick people in our church and he prayed for Tammy Faye Baker. Hilarious. He didn't know her name but he knew she had died and that she was important. Cute.


Virginia, like the state! said...

Hey there! Glad you dropped by, too! :)

Getting rid of memories and souvenirs is always hard, even if they're your own. But some things you should definitely keep!

cindy said...

It's true. It's hard to get rid of these things, but at the same time, we can't grief for the rest of our lives. Save the most precious one, give away the rest. :)

That's cute that the boy prayed for Tammy. I saw her video on the Net last night, the interview she did with Larry King. Oh my! She was so frail and we could barely hear her voice. At least she could finally rest in peace. :)

Me, Myself and I said...

You won't love more or remember your sister more either the longer yu wear in black or the more of her stuffs you keep. Remembering and loving a person is thinking about her and feeling proud of having to meet her up.

And I am sure you do it :)