I'm part apache, per my great grandmother on my mom's side. She was an apache who grew up in a dirt-floor shack. And then she married an Irish miner named Henry O'Gilligan. They had four kids, and continued to live in poverty in New Mexico. Every once in a while, when those Indian Casino commercials come on, Dennis says "Hey you probably have rights to be part of one of these tribes."
In other news, I am going to celebrate the first day after my birthday by cleaning my apartment and studying Hebrew, and feeling kind of sorry for myself.
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