Everyone town has them.

Every town/city/hamlet must have their own idiot drivers who are especially annoying at grocery store parking lots.




Malibu collects idiot drivers who are really idiot people who hire limos to go to the grocery store to buy things like ICE. They are annoying especially because:
a)They block the entire lane with their limo and then motion for you to move around.
b)They think they are more important as people than they really are.

These are the same people, mind you, who park their hummers in compact car parking spots so that you can't around them when you are pulling out of the parking lot or so that they end up double parked thus limiting where you can park.

ridiculous before the weekend.

I've been meaning to post this kind of thing for YEARS.

It's a pro and a con to living in Malibu. The pro is that people are really generally honest here. You can forget to lock your car and be pretty confident that nothing will happen. I'm guilty of leaving my phone or my backpack in plain sight and I realize that I have this security only in Malibu. But it is really ridiculous. I remember when I moved here from the Valley, which is only about 30 miles away and yet so different, that I was really shocked- people who own convertibles leave their tops down all the time, when they are parked outside everyday places like the grocery store/movie theater/drug store/Starbucks. I still, after 7 years of living here, think "But aren't they afraid someone is going to steal something?" People don't just leave the top down (which invites theft of the entire car, right?) but they leave things inside. It just boggles my mind. Who leaves their car so vulnerable? Outside of Malibu, is that normal??

Ridiculous things

I'm trying to ease back into blogging. I realize I have left loads of unanswered questions in posts lately and that my posts are sporadic. I am taking some ridiculous classes right now, ridiculous in part because of the amazing amount that is required for reading. It's easy for me to forget how important blogging is to me, because of the therapeutic sides to being online and having friends you've never met comment on your life and to have them totally validate you by knowing exactly what you are trying to say.

Any way, in the attempt to ease back in, I thought I'd go back to what I think I do best, which is essentially bitching about life. I really became self-critical as far as blogging and thought "I am just too negative and there are already too many people on the internet to be negative."
Somethings cannot be ignored. (Like the ANTM clip of Jay Manuel kissing Tyra Banks on the lips tonight whilst being dressed as a silver haired plasticy prince charming, in a scene that was awkward and nauseating... or Tyra in the entire makeover episode this season as a dumb fairy godmother with a dumb fairy godmother voice. Honestly this show needs more models and less judges...) It was pretty ridiculous.

This is also on the list of ridiculous:

This is Ivy Queen and her ridiculous nails. Ivy Queen is a pretty big deal in the spanish-speaking world, and specifically as a Reggaeton artist but she always has these RIDICULOUS dragon lady nails that I thought only existed in the dark world of the 1980's. She's on "Don Francisco Presenta" right now talking about her life and stuff and I can't concentrate, in part because of her ridiculous nails.

Finally, this car is ridiculous. I've seen it around campus for about a year now, and I've been meaning to take a photo for months. It's one of many ridiculous vehicles (someone has a European car that is like smaller than my kitchen table and gets into the smallest parallel parking spots, which is also ridiculous but a little smart...) It's ridiculous because it shows the wealth at Pepperdine. I'm assuming that the owner is a girl. Probably a girly girl. And I know that I really like the pink wheel-cap for her mercedes benz SUV, even despite it's Barbie color. I wish I had such a glamorous car. And the ridiculous part is that this is probably a student. I'd bet money it's an undergrad student who is younger than 23. And that is ridiculous. I am jealous, that this is even possible and that this isn't the only great car. It makes sense- we live in Malibu and I see so many great cars that I'm desensitized. Hummer Limos? Eh. Over it. The frustrating part is knowing the difference between THEIR bank accounts and MINE.

Got the dress!!

There is no way to make a red ballgown dress look good, when using one's camera phone and when you have decided to store the dress in your "office", next to the paper shredder. But here it is, in all of its glory. I think I look rather nice in it, despite having to go for a size bigger than I would have liked (but a size smaller than I would have gotten one year ago!) I may have to buy a strapless bra for it. But I will never go to David's Bridal again. Ever.

We finished our last trip ever by stopping at In'N'Out. Neither one of us are crazy IN'N'OUT fans- it is a cult favorite in California but I always thought it was overrated. At any rate, there aren't any close to where we live. But my Dad has been asking for a t-shirt from this restaurant that sells like 4 things, for like 3 years.

To complete our day, I took a photo of the car in front of us when we were driving home. To get home, we have to go through a one-lane each way canyon. It was a great reminder of one of my favorite "Dennis Complaints". This car had ALOT of room to drive fast, but he/she chose to drive slower than the speed limit throughout the entire canyon. When something like this happens, Dennis always says "Man. This guy has an expensive car and he drives like this?!!"
I love that my husband thinks that having an expensive looking sports car is a right that only "good drivers" should have. If you drive slower than my 80-year old grandpa and create traffic, you do not deserve an expensive sports car.

thoughts on driving...

because I don't want to study Hebrew...


1. Why isn't there some kind of sign that you can flash, either to tell the car in front of you to speed up OR to tell the car behind you to stop tail gaiting you?

2. All week I've made a point of stopping at the various shuttle stops around campus to give students rides. We all have to rely on a shuttle system that some times takes way too long (especially if you are tired, running late, need to go to the bathroom...) So I say "Hey! Where are you going? Do you need a ride??"

Most of the time I hear the students politely say "no, it's okay. I'm fine..."

and then I say "really. Where are you going?"

And eventually after the student says "but there is a shuttle coming..." I end up saying "Shut up and get in the car."

We are blessed to be in a really safe campus, my car is pretty nice, and I'm not a murderer. So why are people so reluctant to take free rides (and save themselves time. And take a more comfortable ride. really, I'm not that bad of a driver...)

I'm not sure why people are so surprised that I would randomly give them rides, even if it is not in my way, which is really unfortunate. I was called a "lifesaver" and a "saint" today and two different people offered to give me money. So obviously this is something that they appreciate. And I love it. I get to meet students in the community and I get to tell them about things like the Chaplain's office. And being nice makes me feel good. I wouldn't offer people I didn't know rides into my car anywhere else except for at Pepperdine University. So if I offer a free ride, using up MY gas and MY time, take it!!! I spent too many times waiting at the shuttle stop praying someone would stop for me. It takes one person to change the world. Besides, those who wait fifteen minutes longer in the sun after I've already passed are suckers for turning me down.

"baby, there is nothing wrong with that car"

Dennis says "Baby, there is nothing wrong with your car."


And the day after he says this, quite defensively, the rear view mirror falls off. Just falls off. Nothing wrong with my car. Just the fact that the rear view mirror fell off.

So, just so that I can drive to work and to the grocery store, I have installed a baby mirror. It looks like this...


Except there is no baby. And there is no rear view mirror.

Look, I know my car is a good car. And when we look back, we recognize that 4 years ago we didn't have any cars. Now we have two cars. That's a blessing. So yes, I'm spoiled. I would really like to trade this car in. It's over a decade old, the doors don't lock correctly, the rear view mirror just fell off, the steering sucks.... And I live at Pepperdine, in Malibu. And sometimes it feels like everyone else is driving a cute new car.

here's what happened...

I have so much to blog about that I can't even remember it all. Really. I took a trip to Texas and it was like going to another country. I saw the grassy knoll (Dallas. Where JFK was killed.) and met up with my grandparents (my grandpa loves his "governator" shirt, and apparently, he is quite the closest I've ever met to a real life anti-immigration minute man. I say it with love.) They took me around town and I felt loved and blessed. Meeting my mother's family, who I never knew growing up and who I really last saw when my mom died, was a blessing. They told me a lot and it was like finding a missing puzzle piece. Or kind of like learning that you're French for the first time.
And there was an interesting couple of flights and it was crazy. And then I came home and slept. And was very lazy. (hey, I was traveling.) And then I had to prepare for a bachelorette party so I drove down the freeway to a ginormous mall just so that I could go to "Frederick's of Hollywood" (because "Victoria's Secret" might be quality but "Frederick's" is the only place to find really really naughty knickers and I wanted this bride to blush.)

The bachelorette's party started in Hollywood (we went to the "Beauty Bar". which was anti-climactic. It advertises getting your nails done while sipping martinis. But it was really loud and crowded and there were a lot of guys looking for chicks (a lot of single, drunk frat boys). And they didn't even do your nails. They painted them. But I can do that. And really no one was there to get there nails painted. It's a great concept but they should have kept the boys out and turned the radio down.

And yesterday was the wedding. It was painfully obvious to both Dennis and I that I only invest in clothes to wear to school and church but that I really need to invest in a party dress of the quality that you can wear to a semi-casual wedding on the beach. I thanked God that I didn't wear my flip-flops. But my shoes were the only thing fitting the occasion.

And that was my busy week in a nutshell. I will try to post haircut photos, graduation photos, Texas photos, and bachelorette/wedding photos (but maybe not the embarrassing ones of Dennis and I dancing where I look like a big pink MaryKay cadillac....)

I got a haircut-Friday!!

Yay!!

I cut my hair short enough that I can't put it in a ponytail but not short enough that it makes me look fat or weird. I like it but it takes getting used to. But it was like a 45 min. drive to the stylist and that was so cool- the driving for a long time part.

Anyway, tomorrow is Dennis' CLU Graduation ceremony so I will post photos of my new hair when I post photos of him graduating!

Here is this week's Friday's Feast
Appetizer
Tell about a time when you had to be brave.
I had to be brave when my mom died- I was next of kin but I didn't want to cry in front of my little sister.

Soup
Which upcoming movie are you excited about seeing?
"Shrek the Third"- we have the first 2 movies on DVD.

Salad
Name an item you try to always have on hand.
post-it notes. I'm addicted and I love writing things down.


Main Course
Imagine the most relaxing room you can think of. Now describe it!
a hotel room with a big bed and big pillows and air conditioning and a nice TV and drapes that block out the sun.

Dessert
On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being highest), how spiritual or religious are you?
8- more spiritual than religious unless we are discussing diet coke or ice cream sandwiches. I'm very religious about those. I worship Diet Coke.

What the Hell...

Paris Hilton was spotted driving yesterday.

So was I. My friend and I got a pedicure and went to Michael's, the craft shop, where I went and spent a ridiculous amount of money on things like candles and baskets and my friend convinced me successfully that I do not need to spend five dollars on one sheet of stickers.

My Cinco De Mayo....

It's a celebration over a Mexican battle with the French. I know that almost every year in school, I had at least one teacher say "it's not the battle for Mexican independence". Today, while watching the news, Dennis asked "Why were the French in Mexico anyway?" I have no idea.

So we really didn't celebrate the 5th of May as much as we just ran around town doing things. I got my eyebrows waxed (not as painful as I thought) and my upper lip waxed (again, not as painful but still painful and waxy.) It was something that had to be done. Dennis did a bunch of banking things and then we went to the video rental store. The one video rental store in Malibu. The only video store in Malibu that also sells records and CDs and incense and has one of those rooms where only people 18 and over can enter. Those video rental stores still exist. I thought they had gone but they still exist. We rented The Good Shepherd. It was confusing and totally Dennis' type of movie. It spans like 30 years and they do a really good job of making Angelina Jolie age (well, sort of. she gets gray hair.) But they don't age Matt Damon, who is supposed to be her husband and also supposed to have a pretty stressful job. Even when their kid is like 23, he still looks 30.

But back to my day. We went to La Salsa for lunch. Coincidentally. It was either pizza or chinese and Dennis decided neither. So as we were waiting for our food, I decided to sit down. I had been watching this mid-40's looking typically trendy/pretty Malibu woman pick at her beens and rice (because that's what you eat. beans and rice. and water.) while talking to two guys- one I could see and one I could not. So I sat down and looked over. I could see the one guy I couldn't see before.
It was Ted Danson. I'm not going to go up to him and I don't have a camera and I just don't know how to approach celebrities without looking like an idiot. Plus, he's not as famous as he was like 10 years ago. When I was younger, I would have been like "OMG! Three Men and a Baby!!" and my mom would have said "Cheers!!!" But now he's old and his hair is really really gray and his show Becker has become one of those shows that is on when nothing else is on, (kind of like "Matlock"....). So I quickly made a mental note of what I could describe in my blog about him.
a)he has really small feet. Really. like a woman's size 8.
b)he is really as tall as he looks on TV. I know he was sitting down. But he was still tall.
c)he and his friends (i'm guessing friends) were talking about the environment but I wasn't listening to specifics. I kind of started to feel like anyone who lives in Malibu just talks about the environment to be cool.
d)he wasn't with his wife, Mary Steenburgen (who I mostly recognize as the woman who married Doc Brown in the 3rd "Back to the Future").
and yeah. our order was ready and we left and as soon as we were out the door, I whispered to Dennis "Dennis!! That was Ted Danson!! you know, from cheers!!" and he said "really? oh yeah... I think I've seen him around here before."

We went home and Dennis started taking cold pills because he has a cold. And I put one of those icy/hot back patches on because my back hurts. And Dennis harassed me for it because he thinks that just because he's allergic to menthol, that I am too. I'm not. And we've decided that we might be worse than my grandparents who are in their 80's.

I did drive to the store all by myself. I had to buy soda and dinner for myself because Dennis was going to eat his leftovers from La Salsa. I bought sushi and soda and ice cream sandwiches and kleenex. And it was so cool.

I'm online a lot today!

Dennis is at a 'graduation party' (graduates only- I think it's a dinner and then the boys are going out for a drink and nachos.) And as it turns out, I can drive legally (yay!) but I'm not covered in our car insurance (boo!) So I'm (probably for the best) not buying donuts/etc. at the grocery store just because I can.

I am watching old episodes of "Ugly Betty" and I am pimping out my blog (see twitter)

And I'm also doing Friday's Feast. I just had birthday cake and peanut butter for dinner. What did everyone else eat?

Appetizer
Name something you would not want to own.

I would not ever want to own a gun. Dennis and I actually have an understanding about this as he is pro-gun and I am not. If he gets a gun, I get to get another tattoo. (It would work vice-versa, if I get a tattoo he has permission per agreement to buy a gun). And it's lengthened in the list of weapons he cannot own (especially after watching "criminal minds" the other night where these 2 backwoods brothers were hunting people with an arrow gun. So I would never want to own:

any type of gun,
a machete/bowie knive
a grenade,
an arrow gun
etc.

Soup
Describe your hair (texture, color, length, etc.).

my hair is brown with blond highlights that really need to be touched up. It's a little longer than shoulder length but I rarely wear it down (I did today though!!) It's almost always in a ponytail and many times it needs to be washed. It's thick and wavy. I have a love-hate relationship with it.

Salad
Finish this sentence: I’ll never forget ___________.

I'll never forget how my mother found out how I lost my virginity.

Main Course
Which famous person would you like to be for one day? Why?

I would like to be Angelina Jolie for one day. Because she's a)basically married to Brad Pitt. And while I'm not an uber-fan, you can't say he's ugly. and b)she's got a lot of money and a lot of power. I would feel like shopping for diamonds and shoes.

Dessert
Write one sentence about yourself that includes one thing that is true and another thing that is not.

Do you have to guess the truth and guess the lie?

The week that I met Dennis, I got a tattoo and went scuba diving.

things I can do now...

Per everyone's suggestions and some of my own....
1. I can put my passport in my undie drawer because I don't need it for ID now!!
2. I can go to the store and by supplies to make cakes!
3. I can drive to work on Monday!
4. I can drive to the grocery store!
5. I can drive to the gym!
6. I can drive anywhere anytime that I get really mad at Dennis!!
7. I can drive Dennis to the airport and pick him up!
8. I can drive to visit friends when they are sick!
9. I can drive to the salon to get my eyebrows waxed or to get a manicure/pedicure! I've always wanted to do that!!!
10. I can drive to Old Navy! Yes!!!
11. OH! I can complain about how I hate the photo on my driver's license like everyone else! Because I have a driver's license!!!
12. And I do indeed have a copy of "Freedom" by George Michael. So I can drive and listen to that!!
(This can be a never-ending list!!!!)

Vote for Passing Exams

Fight Results:

I got the same lady who tested me the first time and she took me on basically the same route, and I PASSED!!! (by the skin of my teeth but I don't care. I Passed!! I am a licensed driver!!!)


I think I will celebrate by going to the grocery store. I need soda and something. (who cares? I can drive!!)

Round 3: Erin Vs. DMV

Tomorrow (Tomorrow Tomorrow....)

I have to get this license. I have to. Because it's the last chance that I've got. (you only get three chances before you have to start the whole process.)

So Dear God and DMV people:
Have pity on me. I need this. I know that having a license does not define me as a person. I know that if I fail tomorrow that I will just have to start it all over again and eventually I will be a licensed driver. But honestly, I know I can do this and I know that I am prepared to drive. I am a safe driver.
I need to drive to the grocery store. I need to be able to drive my husband to the hospital. I need to be able to drive around just however. I'm not saying I want to drive around in heavy L.A. traffic. I don't want to drive to Vegas. I just want to drive to the grocery store.

So I need prayers and good thoughts. Prayers that I am brave and courageous and calm during the exam and that my instructor goes easy on me. And prayers that if I fail, that I don't lose my mind.

I got gipped.

We are not going into the details. Basically, I failed the test again. Dennis thinks it's because I still look like I'm under 18. Because I did ALOT better. Why did I fail? Because the driving instructor (another female) said I made a bad left turn and that she doesn't think I can drive by myself.

I think that once I have my license, I will be a safe driver. I think that when I take this exam I am so unbelievably nervous that I make mistakes I would never normally make. And I think the women in Thousand Oaks DMV have it out for me. So we are going to test Dennis's theory. Next (and final chance) for me to take the test, I am :
-not wearing sneakers and jeans and a sweat shirt.
-I am wearing pants and driving loafers and makeup.
-and probably my hair down.

It sucks, but we are going to put Dennis's theory to the test. And I'm about to throw in the towel anyway. Really. Today, I was so upset and depressed that I cried about failing for like 3 hours. It is a big deal. I'm not over reacting. I had plans. Dennis's birthday is on April 29th and I wanted to buy his birthday cake without him present. Guess what? Not happening...

no pressure...

so here's the deal. I have a term paper due monday (20 pages that I haven't started), and I should study for finals. And tomorrow I have my second shot at the driving exam. (I didn't say anything last week, the night before, because I didn't want to jinx myself. And look! I failed! so now I'm saying something! I'm as nervous as hell!!)

And what have I done today? A lot of nothing. I watched the end of the 2nd season of "The Office", online, at work. (and I did SOME greek homework). And then I came home and I went to like five different mind-zapping gossip websites. And it's wednesday, so I watched (and am still watching) hours of reality tv. I am not focusing. at all. So if I start wigging out on Sunday night about how I've done no schoolwork at all, this is why.

All this being said, "America's Next Top Model" is becoming really really lame. I don't know why I watch. The challenge today was to give a cover girl commercial using an austrailian accent. How does this relate to anything fashion? How? And why does Tyra Banks think she is an expert in accents? How? Whatever, I totally figured out who would leave in the first five minutes of the show.

And then I changed to American Idol. I don't like this show. I've never been an idol fan. But I wanted Sanjaya to stay. If only for the fact that Perez Hilton kept calling him "Sangina". But I figured out online that he was going and I don't have the attention span to listen to karoke of country music.

The gold of the evening is "shear genius" on Bravo. I came at this show with skepticism. I kind of thought "Top Chef" and "Top Design" were boring (really, Top Design. I just didn't find Todd Oldham interesting...)

But all of the contestants are brilliantly so serious. They are all hair-dressers/stylists. So they are all flamboyant and loud and bitchy and half of them have accents (and some of those accents are fake). How does the host tell the stylist that he/she is eliminated? wait for it......


"this is your final cut"

hilarious.


And this is Jessica Simpson a)wishing me luck for tomorrow b)giving me little joy inside especially as she looks pretty self-explanatorily horrible. it's like payback for every time Dennis has said she was hot in "The Dukes of Hazzard". She's wearing the same pants my grandma wears to Hometown Buffet each week, and it rules. Her teeth match her top. Nice.

dmv nazi....

I have an ear ache. I woke up today with an ear ache that started yesterday, and I knew it was a bad omen. I even went to the doctor and he gave me some antibiotics.

But my drivers test was today. I am not saying that I went into the test thinking I would fail. I actually felt like I might do okay. But I failed. No critical driving errors, I was just overly cautious and a little slow. And the woman who tested me was a middle aged woman with a military nazi haircut. You know what it really reminded me of? There is this character in one of the sketches for "sabado gigantes" (I tried to find a photo of him but I couldn't)- he is quite nearly bald, wears earrings and makeup, but still dresses like a man. And acts like a woman.

It was absurd. But I took/failed my exam right as happy hour was beginning at a nearby mexican restaurant. So I got two glasses of chardonnay for $4 and felt soooo much better. Really. I was like crying when we entered the restaurant. And one glass later, I was a lot better. Not saying alcohol is the answer to everything but Jesus Christ, I had an earache and I failed my drivers exam.

Dennis, by the way, has been the most supportive person ever. Not mad that I didn't pass, ready to take me to take it again next week, helpful because of my ear and my serious beating myself up emotionally.... He is awesome.

follow up....

GOOGLE it! yes, Ricky Martin was a regular member of the General Hospital Cast (I think I was in grade school still so this was a really long time ago for me too...)


Today, Dennis and I practiced driving on the route where I will eventually take my exam (in a couple of weeks). I still need to practice and there were a couple of times when I wanted to kick Dennis out of the car, but at the end he said I wasn't bad at all and just had to practice parking and backing out especially in a parking lot. So I actually got a much deserved compliment from my husband regarding my driving!! (it was so badly needed that I cried when we finally stopped and parked because he had finally admitted that I'm not so horrible!!! And okay, I cried probably too because it's so stressful!!)

keep practicing!! keep practicing!!!


*note: also, I've made a promise to Dennis to not blog so late at night. So any blogging should be done before 11pm and not in the early morning hours....

things aren't so bad...

Today I practiced parking with my friend Lori, and I got honked at. (I fear being honked at but it's alright, I know they do it because I'm probably driving bad.) And I continue to feel like there is no reason for me to not get my license. And, per Dennis being grumpy, I did call and complain about not being shown certain things with my driving instructor. I was aggressive and stuck up for myself when the guy on the phone tried to use that tactic where he talks alot and tries to make you feel like an idiot, and I ended up getting a free hour. So Dennis is happy that I complained and I get a free hour to practice parking. missions accomplished. (just be nice to people you honk at!)

Do you know, we have been approached in the past 3 and a half years by at least 5 teenagers to buy them beer? Dennis says "are you kidding me? I watch investigative reports on the news! I know this could be a set up!" (So his rationalization for not buying someone underage alcohol is that he could get in trouble himself, nice to know he's not altruistic.) But I think that this would be my reasoning too, if personally approached. I can say that I had alcohol before my 21st birthday, illegally, but it doesn't mean that I would buy an 18 year old a beer. Dude, it's kind of overrated and I think you can wait...

for heaven's sakes...

children, do not let your husband teach you how to drive. I know this sounds like an obvious "do not ever do this" but I have no choice. Not only do I have to learn parallel parking and backing up and U-turns via my darling obsessive husband, I have to complain tomorrow to the driving school because Dennis is not satisfied that they didn't teach me these things. I'm not satisfied either but unlike him I could care less about complaining to the company. I just want my driver's license. I have such tunnel vision regarding this matter that I am eating and sleeping the need and idea of having my license. And so every time my husband or the instructor utters "you are not ready" I just kind of want to scream.

so I guess the problem is in having patience. Dennis knows I want to have my license, he knows I'm trying, and we are all on the same page. I just would really like to make time pass more quickly. I want to be free. Dennis wants me to be free. Jesus wants me to have my license. I know it.

So children, learn and do not let this happen to you. I fear I will be thirty years old before I actually really drive independently and on my own (oh you have no idea how much I want to drive on Pacific Coast Highway listening to the Dixie Chicks singing about war and RVs all by myself!!! I don't even want to be a multi-tasking female driver on her cellphone putting on mascara! really! I just want to go to the grocery store and buy risotto without Dennis!!)