What I'm thinking about now...

1. I think it is adorable that my husband toasted a tortilla in our toaster oven because we didn't have tortilla chips for dinner tonight (I ate them in yet another mindless example of how I am incapable of following a truly diabetic diet...)

2. I'm going to Wisconsin this weekend with my Aunt, for a family reunion. I need to get some photos printed to show our family. Should I bring my bathing suit. Should I check in some luggage? I wouldn't except that I hate the rules about liquids. I don't even wear makeup, but I don't want to stress out about whether or not I can put it in a carry on. I just hate that you have to pay a ridiculous amount of money for carry-ons now.

3. Which reminds me that I need to find my mp3 charger...

4. I'm getting obsessed with Twitter.
People who read this blog know I've had twitter for awhile (I got it after I saw it on Cindy's Blog) but the days pop culture events revised my twitter interest.

5. Chilean News article about Michael Jackson. My aunt and I talked about it earlier this evening- we weren't "shocked", just sad for his family.

neither have talent.

okay. sometimes what kara said was helpful during the season. but srsly, the show didn't need her.

So. American Idol was tonight.

In case you were under a rock.

Last year, I had time to live blog the American Idol finale and thought Archuletta was going to win until oh snap! David Cook totally won!

And then I heard David Cook on the radio a few times and then totally didn't ever really buy his album or anything.

This year was the first year that my husband and I actually watched AI from beginning to end. Cause there was nothing else on. I liked both of the final 2 guys but in the end, just felt like Glambert was too "jazz hands" meets "glam rock hair band". The dude can sing. He can hit notes that I will never in my life hit, and he has skill. And he is perfectly suited for a Vegas show.

But Kris Allen totally deserved it, if only for his easy appeal. Come on, people. He totally is like every other guy you hear all the time on the radio. And I know that isn't necessarily innovative or anything but if it's already on the radio, it means that people like me (aka the masses) are more likely to buy it. And he did have some great covers.

So, almost 2 hours later, I'm obviously not live blogging this. But I thought I should keep the tradition alive by at least saying "WTG America for voting for the dude who we actually will probably hear on the radio maybe".

Small complaints:

-don't make the entire idol cast wear white ever again. it is not a good color for anyone. I can't find a screen cap/photo so let's see how long this youtube vid of poor quality stays up...

-don't let Kara back. That song was lame and the bikini girl showdown was lame.



Okay. Now time for bed. Sorry Adam Lambert fans.

It's about cheese.

I love being a hostess and having guests over, but I have learned that I am territorial and immature the longer I have guests over. The last time that we had guests, I secretly freaked out when one of our guests used one of my brand new glasses for soda (one of two novelty glasses purchased at the Coca Cola store in Las Vegas). She had lipstick on and the glasses were brand new. I nearly wigged out because I wanted to be the first one to use the stupid glass.

It's like this: I say "Make yourself at home" and I think "no, but not really..."

So we have this guy visiting from Chile. It's important to me to be a good hostess, because I do care. But Dennis and I are both busy and our guest knows that we aren't going to be cleaning/cooking/entertaining much. Which is cool as our guest is not as much here for tourism as much as he is looking for prospects for when he moves to So Cal.


He's a guest. But he is making himself at home. And Dennis and I are slowly turning into Angie Tempura.

It's about cheese. We bought some expensive cheese tonight because we had an awesome coupon for it. And after I put it in the fridge, I realized I would have to share it. Because we are not going to hide cheese from our guest. But at the realization that I must share, I nearly lost my sh#t.


It's not just about cheese. I mean, last night he delighted in telling me that Jimmy Fallon is doing cocaine because he has bags under his eyes and he can't tell jokes without laughing. Because those are 100% tell-tale signs. I don't even care about the celebrity part, just the smug "you know you are a loser for laughing at the jokes of a drug addict" tossing of information my way. I prefer to be ignorant, thanks.

Or it's about how he asked me if he could help me cook dinner as I loaded three baked potatoes into the oven and then told Dennis "I can't eat potatoes. I have a glandular problem". Dude, why couldn't you have said that before you watched me load three potatoes in the oven? There are only three of us in my apartment. And why are you eating french fries in the biggest possible size at every restaurant we've taken you to then?

Or it's about how you made my husband drive around to fix our other car so you'd have a car to drive around and then you called yesterday from Hollywood and said you took a cab. You drove the car to Hollywood. And then hailed a cab to some place. And then drove home. I don't know why you needed a cab if you have our car, but I'm annoyed.






I really like certain aspects of having guests. I really do. And this guy, now that he has one of our cars, has made himself scarce. I cannot be the only one who regresses to a 2 year old when people come over.

There, I've said it...

Back to blogging (oh how I missed you!) by saying some things:

1. I like Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.


I think he's funny and cute, even though he laughs at his own jokes. There, I've said it.

2. My husband is in Florida, trying to find a job and to take an exam for a second graduate degree. He's only been gone for one night and he's coming back tomorrow, but I think I'd like another night alone. It's quiet and I can eat whatever I want and I don't have to watch Spanish news (even though I do). I wish he would stay one more night. Things have been so stressful with school and lack of full-time employment, and we have been bouncing anxiety and panic attacks off of each other. So, I really miss not having someone to talk to but I also really enjoy the alone time. There, I've said it.

3.
I think Steven Tyler looks like a lady. The aerosmith classic song has come full circle. There, I've said it.

4. This is the Cutest Commercial EVER.


Bonus: link to the song in the commercial. Yessss

Jon Bovi. Best Band Ever.

(I will try to get Dennis singing Karaoke of "Living on a Prayer"- he's pretty good!)


Anyway, I am blogging. Just not really well. Because I have some mega papers to write. But they are do very soon. And then I want to blog regularly again! And hilarity will ensue!!

mental housekeeping...

there are some things I need to get down in words.

First, the facebook photo situation has been resolved: My nephew complained that he hates this photo. I can relate. People have photos of me tagged where I look like a fat cow. But maybe I was looking at this from the most selfish of all angles. My nephew is a young college kid who needs as many facebook photos of himself where he looks cool as he can get, because he is a young kid in college. It all makes perfect sense. So, I have conceded. I removed his name from the photo and he is no longer tagged. But I keep my photo online. Those are my terms and we are no longer in negotiations. (At least, I'm no longer negotiating).

Second, my brain is mush. I have finals this upcoming week and while these are mainly papers, this is where my focus of attention is resting. I need this week, at least until after Tuesday at midnight, to focus on school. Hence, the following open letter is necessary:
Dear husband,
Apologies, because I cannot be bothered until I finish my assignments. I have, literally five brain cells and they are all on school. So this means I am not going to have time to clean out the spare bedroom so my brother is at home when he visits on Friday. It will get done but maybe not to your satisfaction. Oh well. My brother is quite possibly the messiest bachelor ever so I'm sure he will not mind.

I'm also not in a position to care about cooking. I'm eating a salad and that alone deserves applause. Do NOT give me "that" look when I eat a few oreos. I'm stressing out majorly and a few oreos are not going to kill me. Yes, I know I had a panic attack last week about how I was feeling fat and I'm such an idiot for not caring better about what I eat. And I fully expect you to react as you did last week, by being supportive and helpful. Do not act like the food police when I decide to binge and have 3 oreo cookies as a reaction to my body's natural cortisol production as a response to stress.

Also, don't freak out because I am also coincidentally very absentminded right now. As I said, I have FIVE brain cells functioning right now. So if I mess up dates and times or forget words, lay off.

Finally, keep on with the supportive hugs and such. You are the best ever and the source of my sanity.

Much love,
your wife, who wishes she was really always right.

internet banalities...

I don't think I will ever stop loving LOLZ cats.

They are available for weddings...

Add This:

Plus This:

And you, delightfully, get this:



The website doesn't work, BTW but I think this is a real church choir. If it isn't, it is at least cheap Thursday entertainment. Could at least SOME of what they sing work and not conflict with the idea of worship? (I mean, you can't sing Nelly in church, obvs, but maybe you could work with the Eminem song??)

People's Court LOLZ

Because of our situations in life, Dennis and I have the unique time available to watch "The People's Court". It's kind of trash tv but not quite Jerry Springer... I think.

Point: Seriously, there are some stupid people. We are watching a case where this guy is suing because he bought a dog- he wanted the dog to be a boy and found out later that it was a girl. He wants to be compensated because he was given a girl dog. How do you buy a dog, keep a dog for long enough to name it and dress it in outfits, and not realize it is not a boy?? Seriously. There are some really obvious things that you as a man yourself should obviously notice as missing. He is claiming this was fraud. Seriously.

This is the poor dog who is too embarrassed to look at the TV because her owner is retarded and gave her a gender-identity crisis.


And this is the retarded owner, who also wants compensation for boy dog clothes that he obviously cannot use on a girl dog. (OMG. Seriously.)
The case before: I can't even recall the actual point of the case. This guy was suing this woman because he put new windows in her apartment and paid for it all and she didn't pay him back. Her defense was that it was a gift or something and that he was trying to get romantic with her. He said that this wasn't true because "look at her" (i.e. "she's ugly, judge"). I would not say she is ugly. But I will say that the reason I can't tell you the main part of the case is because I was transfixed with this woman's hair. A Sculpted hot mess that I'm sure someone spent a lot of time on. It's talented and bizarre at the same time.


This is a blackberry pearl camera phone- I'm not sophisticated clearly. But you can see kind of what I see (plus the look on her face because she lost because she basically has to pay for what she thought was free windows from a guy who just called her ugly on national tv).

My husband, the Olympics Fan.

My husband is addicted to the Olympics. This is surprising because Dennis usually hates sports. We don't watch football or futbol or baseball, thank God. But from the opening ceremony since, Dennis has been glued to all NBC channels covering the Olympics. He cheered today for women's beach volleyball- US against Belgium- and win the US won, he almost personally attacked Belgium!
Seriously, he is more worked up and emotionally involved in this than anyone I've ever met, and because Chile only has a handful of athletes, he is a full on Team USA fan. (Except for in tennis. He's routing for Chile in Men's Tennis and they won the gold 4 years ago.)

I would say that what is most surprising, to me, is Dennis's emotional and competitive involvement in women's gymnastics. They struggled as a team against China and he watched every move. Now they are competing for individual medals. He is especially interested in Nastia Liukin. (He said, "that's my girl!! she's wearing pink!!")

I won't tell Dennis that Liukin won the gold, as the coverage is still on and he doesn't know. I've already made the mistake of calling them "little girls in leotards". Know this- if we have a baby girl, she is going to be wearing pink per Dennis. Dennis's daughters are pretty girly now and any future princesses are going to be wearing rhinestone princess tee-shirts in the maternity ward.

Clearly a UK Advert...

Oh, Europe. I love you and your funny adverts.

Watchin' MTV movie awardz...

PS: Johnny Depp and Robert Downey Jr. are totally hot.

Mike Myers, not so much. And Lindsay Lohan, your purple dress is as short as Verne Troyer. No you can't.

You know what, Talk Soup....

I hope that the kids of "Yo Gabba Gabba" continue to not be stifled by your snarky comments.

Sure, they are dancing awkwardly. But they are copying what they see, which is also awkward when you think about it. These are our future "So You Think You Can Dance"/"American Idol"/Astronauts/Teachers!!!

Any kid who does the robot with such honesty should be given a gold star and ice cream from Dairy Queen.

I'm getting over Tyra.

This is exactly why America's Next Top Model is more ridiculous every cycle. Because Tyra Banks doesn't even model anymore, and gives out loads of advice as if she is the BEST MODEL EVER. She is part-patronizing, part-motherly,part-takesherselftooseriously, and really fake. Really, none of these photos even look natural. And it looks like she is selling a barbie doll version of herself.

I wonder, when I realize, how much I dislike Tyra Banks and the judges, why I still watch ANTM. I have to say that it is for the models, even if they never become famous, because they have so much drama and they want to be on the cover of Seventeen magazine sooo bad. And watching Tyra give all these poses whilst acting as if she KNOWS IT ALL, is kind of hilarious. It's kind of like watching those little girls in kiddie pageants who are being manipulated by stage moms who make them bleach their teeth to look ten years older and not pretty at all...


Tyra's hair looks exactly like the hair of a barbie doll I had in the 80's. I know she loves to talk about how much she can work her forehead, but really this whole photo shoot is so annoying.

Queer Eye Invading BBAU!!

Yeah!!!!!!!! Just watching Carson from "Queer Eye" and a bunch of other shows where he plays a gay guy who helps people dress right is a special guest on Big Brother Australia!!!

This tells you two things that tell you something about me:
1)I've got a weakness for gay guys who are really flamboyant and who love to help old ladies fix the thighs that are GWP (Gift with Purchase= AKA part of having kids).
2)I'm watching Big Brother Australia on YouTube. I can't even spell Australia.

It's just really funny to watch a US gay guy interact with really Australian people, using US cultural references ("Rock out with your frocks out??"). It's like a trifecta of cultural experience.

(I didn't ever, by the way, actually ever watch "Queer Eye For the Straight Guy") But if you have some time and you never before watch dumb things online, this is worth 5 minutes.

I think my idea of heaven would be to be able to live in other countries just to watch their reality television shows.

Live Blogging American Idol finale...

Two firsts: live blogging and actually watching the entire American Idol finale. I will do both while trying to translate 1 Kings 1 in Hebrew. Buwahahahahaaa (I actually wonder how many people had the same "live-blog" idea....


8:00pm American Idol. Ryan Seacrest talks.Blah blah blah. Record number of people calling in, even from Canada. Still think that they've fixed it for Archuleta to win. All those votes are from 13 year old girls. The Nation is not as riveted as Seacrest talks about. But maybe they are supposed to say that.

Showing the home towns. Both cheer. But clearly, Archuleta's teenage girls scream louder.

Somewhere here the top 12 sing a song and I tune them out.

8:55pm The American Idol Experience at DisneyWorld. Brought to you by Jordin Sparks. Who has lame songs that I hate on the radio.

ZZTop and David Cook. Sharped-Dressed Man. This is why David Cook will probably profit from this more than Archuleta. Even if it is a fix that the teen boy will win, Cook has a rock-esque style that will play on the radio, right after Daughtry. He's playing and dancing and working the crowd, and it is campy and bad-ass at the same time, if that is possible. I wonder if David Cook auditioned to be a member of INXS when they had their reality show on CBS two years ago.... Paula Abdul is clearly excited about ZZ Top. Now, I get all the jokes about her being wacky.

8:59pm David Cook's home town and grandma. No, his music teacher. And what is that girl wearing? A Gold Saran Wrap Dress??? Whaaaa??

Did Graham Nash feel like he should retire any hippie credentials or "fighting the man" credentials by singing "Teach the Children Well" on stage acoustic with Brooke White?

8:12pm The Davids should be in a band. They dueted "Hero" by Nickelback quite well. Is it so obvious that Archuleta is so winning this?

Mike Myers mentors them? Unnecessary Guru plugging in American Idol, even if it is funny to watch Mike Myers thank the academy for Mini-Me.
David Cook's face is too 90's? But it is so nice to see David Cook laugh at Archuleta when Mike Myers tells him that he will have to go through puberty soon. Oh look, he is actually pretending to be the guru live on stage now, before Seacrest and thousands of teenagers.

8:19pm Syeisha returns. With Seal. Who is so awesome. She is just his backup singer.

8:20pm Commercial and Love Guru promo. Isn't Mike Myers also quite 90's. Just as much as David Cook's facial hair?

8:25pm Back. Welcoming back Jason Castro. AKA dread lock kid who was perpetually stoned and who said "don't vote" so he would get voted off. The Rufus Wainwright version of Alleluia is superb to this so I'm tuning him out. Dennis says "why is this guy here?" I agree.

8:27pm A montage with the 12 that I also tune out. It might take all night long to let the good times roll but I'd like to see who wins.

8:28pm Back with the Davids. Getting free cars. Ridiculous. (I shouldn't judge that one....)

8:29pm Donna Summer songs with the girls. Sounds like a broadway show. Tuning it out. Wait, who is the old lady? She sounds kind of like a dude... And now it's the Donna Summer reunion show....

8:40pm Carly- the girl with the powerful, almost masculine voice and Michael Johns, they guy that everyone was sad to see gone. Pretty good, but still sounds like a broadway show. And also kind of like an SNL skit.

8:43pm. Simon has large nipples? What? Oh, Jimmy Kimmel. Sanjaya reference. 19 weeks of Karaoke singing. Putting Simon's mean words to music. Meh.

8:45pm. The guys. Singing a bad 80's song, horribly. Wow it really is like Karaoke. And Jason Castro is just too stoned to sing "Summer of '69".

Wow. I just figured out that they are making the men sing Ryan Adams power ballads. Confession: Dennis and I sing these same ballads in the car. Ryan Adams comes out. I'm not wearing my glasses but Dennis said he doesn't look bad for his age.

8:50pm. Dennis is singing along with Ryan Adams and the guys. OMG.

9:02pm. Jordin Sparks-whose songs are quite annoying- introduces something at Disneyland.
David Cook rocks out with ZZTop, and clearly deserves this but clearly won't win because he is just too rock and roll. (This is also kind of a campy performance, but I will let him have it.)

Brooke White sings with Graham Nash. And he loses all (if he had any) credibility as someone who used to be a hippie.

9:07pm. Who the heck is this band? The lead singer looks like Archuleta's brother. Dennis and I have no idea, even though the teen girls are going wacko.

9:09pm. Who is this old lady in red? She looks kind of like Michelle Bachelet.

Okay, now for the reel of bad singers and talent:
That girl singing "somebody to love" is a total meth head.
The black guy in the mustard suit is not singing in English.
And a guy in some stuffed animal get-up singing with a marching band. Oh. I am so not getting any homework done. What the hell is he singing??

9:18pm. One Republic sings "Apologize". Without Timbaland, I think. I actually like this song but Dennis thinks it is ridiculously repetitive and lame. I like this song on the radio but the lead singer is a bit weak live.

Oh, wait, Archuleta is singing "Apologize" too. This is exactly the type of song that will make him win. They actually flash to teenage girls singing along. Archuleta is a good singer. I don't know why I'm so anti-Archuleta, except that it just seems like he's been the winner since the beginning of the show. At any rate, this was a smart choice for them to make Archuleta sing. I am imagining how Archuleta's album cover would look. Man, he has such a baby face. I didn't get to live blog Cook's family/home town. It was less screaming and his music teacher.

Archuleta's home town. Loads of screaming girls and his grandpas. Se habla en espanol poco- el talento se viene de las dos familias. Safe answer.

9:23pm Jordin Sparks, again. Wearing an eye-damaging gold dress that makes her look bigger than she is. Not flattering at all. Why are they clothing the women in this fabric? It's like gold/silver dance class material.

This material.
As bad for your figure as Jordin Sparks songs all suck.

9:31pm. Hahahahahaa. Jack Black, Ben Stiller, and Robert Downey Jr. singing "Midnight Train to Georgia" with Gladys Night. I am developing a crush on Robert Downey Jr. now that he's off the dope and working out and being Ironman. I wonder if doing things like this excite Jack Black, who is so good at musical comedy.

Yep. Jack Black pantsless. And Sexy Robery Downey Jr. And Ben Stiller.

9:35pm. Carrie Underwood. She's wearing wing-type sleeves but she has cute hair. And I really like her songs. She's up there with Kelly Clarkson as Idol success. Man, she has great legs.

9:45pm. I LOVE George Michael songs. A little scared about Archuleta singing "Father Figure."
If George Michael came, I would scream.

aahhhhhhhhhhh!! Woohoo!!! I love George Michael!!! Not ashamed of it!! Paula loves him too.

9:57pm Judges speak. Blah blah blah. This is when the judges say to the loser "you suck, but don't feel so bad because you are both winners. But one of you wins more." I wonder if Simon really doesn't care who wins. Nice of him to apologize though, for being mean yesterday to David Cook after handing the win to David Archuleta.

9:59pm The opening of the Gold envelope.
by 12 million votes the winner is David Cook!!

Yay! Bye Archuleta!! Awww, look at Cook cry! Who is that old lady with him? His mom? Oh yeah, I forgot that his brother was sick. Awww...


10:02pm As he sings about the time of his life, I am reminded of the Word Cloud shown on BWE.TV today, compiling all of the words that the AI winners have sung in their final songs.



Please, David Cook, be more popular than Taylor Hicks.

My love of the tent dress, etc.

I was planning on blogging about the tent dress, and my deep love of it. I have two black Old Navy tent dresses that I wear around the house, sleep in, and wear with jeans. (Yes, I wear them with jeans). It is not a figure flattering love, and I have backed off on the jeans, mainly because I am starting to wear these dresses as solely loungewear. Today was the perfect day to bring up my love of my tent dresses, as I went out barefoot and braless to check the mail, and I realized I looked absolutely ridiculous and maybe scandalous. I have to remind myself that our apartment complex is for grownups and that I'm not in a dorm complex anymore, where I can walk around in my pajamas.

This is a good opportunity to bring up three other interesting fashion related things.

First: HELL-TO-THE-YEAH!!! for the new "America's Next Top Model"!

It might have been a fixed/scripted win to make the series look better, but they finally crowned the "plus-size" (but not really, but kind of) model!! I cheered for the first time in a few cycles, and I scared Dennis!
I still find Tyra Banks incredibly annoying though. But woohoo for them picking a girl with curves!!

Second:

Had I known that tying two sheets at the shoulders, in a lazy version of a toga- paired with pink shorts- could be fashionable, maybe I would be...
I can't think of anything that would make me better if I did something like this. Even when Scarlett O'Hara made the drapes-dress, it looked like an awesomely made dress and not like a pink toga and shorts. Dear model, please don't dress yourself. Thanks, Erin.

What is the darker purple stripe in the middle of her pants? And does she realize she bought the same pants my grandma used to wear? The same pants my grandma either bought at Targer or at a second-hand store for a dollar?? I don't even know who this woman is. All I know is that she was photographed for some kind of event that warranted nice shoes and a nice clutch. And a nice outfit. Not the top that you might wear for a New Year's Eve party and my grandma's pants. Good Lord.


So, in conclusion, if you got this far, I concur that my love of my two black tent dresses is a drop in the bucket compared to what these two ladies have cooked up for fancy events that require getting your nails did.

Happiness Is....

This is one of the benefits of living in a University Community. See, at Pepperdine, people are moving around a lot. The average student (obviously not including myself) is here for about four years. And people (read: students) end of throwing away/giving away/selling for ridiculously cheap a lot of things. I don't think anything in our house is anything we ourselves bought. I know it isn't.

We needed a new TV in our bedroom badly. Needed because it oh so nice to watch the news in bed, to watch TV in bed on a lazy day or when you are sick, etc. Most people that I know have the luxury of a TV in the living room and a TV in the bedroom. Our bedroom TV was my mom's bedroom TV. It's about a decade old, which isn't old. But it was failing. Failing so that you could tell that the person on the screen had eyes. But most of the screen is black. Dennis stopped coming to bed to watch the news with me because we weren't watching. He said "it's like a radio!" and stayed in the living room.


Well, no more! One generous guy moving to Minnesota said he was giving away a TV, looking for a good home. It's exactly what we were looking for. It has the necessary remote, and it's free. It's not HD-anything. But we have cable so we don't have to worry about that. And we could not afford even a $300 "sale" TV set. At Christmas time, I looked for an old-school under-$100 not HD TV. They just do not exist anymore. And the new ones are not in our budget.


So God is good.

Fiercey-Fierce.

My husband has started saying "fierce". Thank you "Project Runway" for making my husband just 1% less macho.
But really, this was the designer that I wanted to win. I hearted Christian for all of his emotion and drama and he had such good lines in his diaries. And when it looked like he was crying!!


I must include Posh because for all of her Poshiness, I secretly have a huge crush on her. It's true. I really think she's great. I know she wears heels all the time and eats like a piece of broccoli a day for meals, but she's earned her fashionista title. Yes, she reads books that make me feel fat and remind me of just why i hated high school.
But she's just got this certain thing about her that kind of makes me smile. I can't put my finger on it because I can't relate to her in any way and I am not a Spice Girls fan at all. I don't think she's a super mom or anything. I just can't tell you. Maybe it's her hair cut?