crossing the line between healthy and unhealthy...

Where is the line between a healthy obsession and an unhealthy one?


I'm talking about Twilight, the Vampire movie and book series that has a bunch of teenage girls and older girls freaking out about guy vampires. So much so that you cannot NOT find an online facebook game or whatever where a girl does not name her facebook self "Bella" or "VampireFan4Life"" and where you do not see girls declaring their love for a fictional character. Okay. fine. Whatever flips your switch. If you are in this young and pretty much FEMALE demographic, then for you to say that you love "Twilight" and "have an unrealistic expectation in men" because the male lead character is a vampire who expresses undying love for the female lead but they can't have sex... I can totally understand.

Is it perhaps UNHEALTHY however, when you are a 32 year old single male? And all of your best friends are young(er) girls who are equally obsessed? And you start actually reenacting Twilight the way that Star Wars nerds reenact Jedi fights??

We have a friend, who is aforementioned 32 year old single male. He is also kind of (at least pre-Twilight) a loner and a perpetual bachelor. Who suddenly has loads and loads of young girl friends (not girlfriends romantically) and they are posting facebook photos re-enacting Twilight. But he isn't dating any of these girls, who all look really young (I will give him that they are all probably legal and that they are all probably friends from church...) But it's kind of freaking me out. It freaks me out that a 32 year old man likes Twilight. Not just likes Twilight. But actually is starting to dress like a main character from Twilight.

Am I the only one who thinks this is weird? He's got dark hair like Dennis and he totally has started dying his hair and dressing to look like this guy:


Okay. He's trying to act like the father character in the series, not like the character that all the teenage girls are falling in love with. But it's still really weird!

Kung Fu Panda is an awesome movie.

It is a fact. "Kung Fu Panda" is an awesome movie and I am officially a fan. A panda who emotionally eats and this is the secret to how he gets his kung fu skills. Awesome.





"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

In response to Angelina hate...

Touche.

Thanks to Gallery of the Absurd and my dear friend Sarah

They are available for weddings...

Add This:

Plus This:

And you, delightfully, get this:



The website doesn't work, BTW but I think this is a real church choir. If it isn't, it is at least cheap Thursday entertainment. Could at least SOME of what they sing work and not conflict with the idea of worship? (I mean, you can't sing Nelly in church, obvs, but maybe you could work with the Eminem song??)

my brain is fried.

As in "KFC sad bowl of chicken/mashed potatoes/mac 'n cheese/gravy" Fried.

I would like to not post something about tonight's political debate. It seems that there are loads of possible drinking games that one could create in this particular race. But I don't have any alcohol and I don't like getting drunk and sick. So instead, I offer this:


it's a bonus because this guy was referenced by my boss a few days ago and it made me think of authority figures who have talked to me with this exact voice (I'm thinking of someone in particular and this is that line, where you don't know how specific you can be because you know that your blog is public enough to hurt people's feelings. But there is a certain "authority figure" that definitely reminds me of this guy from "Office Space" that I deal with on a fairly regular basis... (Not you, Dave).

Nope. It's not.

Pretty Woman.

I do not know one woman who can say she doesn't like the movie, "Pretty Woman". It's a raunchy flick, but it was probably my first R-rated movie and I loved Julia Roberts, who plays Vivian the nicegirl/hooker, and I loved her funny laugh. I also loved her hooker friend, Kit, who managed to brilliantly insert the F-Word into Cinderella's name. I can not think of Cinderella in the same way anymore.

Anyway, there's this scene towards the end, where Kit goes to visit Vivian, who is living it up in a Beverly Hills hotel and wearing nice clothes and is so in love with Richard Gere. Kit, in all of her hooker-gear, tells a old couple that is staring at her lack of clothes, that the woman's dress looks like her grandma's drapes. I may have the quote wrong, but the idea of comparing a woman's dress to my grandma's drapes is something I will never forget.



I will have to take a photo of my grandma's drapes to prove this is real.

Update: I THINK the "drapes" comment was inserted into an elevator scene/old people scene via censorship to show the film on network tv.But it does exist.

Okay! No more!!!

I've noticed at least twice this new fashion thing where woman wear dresses made in gold stretchy material, better suited for Halloween costumes of like, Cleopatra, or little dancers. Little Miss Sunshine would be better suited to wear this gold stretchy material. Not Jordin Sparks on the American Idol finale, and not Cate Blanchett when she was on the Red Carpet. And not three of the four Sex and The City women at their NYC premiere. (Only Cynthia Nixon opted out.)

Even Jennifer Hudson went for a shiny metallic alien suit.

It's not flattering. Not for anyone. It looks like aluminum foil and saran wrap on Sarah Jessica Parker, it looks soooo uncomfortable and even painful on Kim Cattrall, It looks like an 80's prom dress on Kristin Davis, and it is very "this should be saved for an Ice Skating competition" on Christian from Project Runway.

Which reminds me of just one more reason to boycott this movie until it comes out for free on cable. I may be the only woman on earth who doesn't care about this movie. I did enjoy the first two or three seasons but kind of got bored with the show after that one episode where they went to LA, and I really do not want to "get Carried away".

Is Indian Jones a Scientology movie?

I don't think so, for the record. But you can see (so that I'm not giving too much away if you don't see the movie until it is on Netflix), that the eyes of the skull in the background are like alien eyes.

I assume that Steven Spielberg is a happy Jew, and I don't really know that Harrison Ford has that much creative power. I could be wrong. Which leaves George Lucas.

I don't know that I think George Lucas is a scientologist (unless he has already said he is...) but I do know that he has created millions of dollars and super-nerd fans across the world who believe in light sabers and aliens and darth vader. I've met these fans. So I think maybe he is just interested in aliens. Oh, and Spielberg did make E.T.

I guess it all comes from the Xenu debate. Did aliens come to earth billions of years ago to teach humans how to live? Was the big fish in the book of Jonah some kind of advanced alien ship/fish??

Or is this just a movie where Harrison Ford and Karen Allen look really old?

For the record, I don't think it has scientology ties. I do think it was a good movie, as a final movie in the series. Much better than National Treasure.

10 Favorite Comedies...

On the Heels of "Beverly Hills Chihuahua", my list of my Top Ten Comedies in Film:

1. Wayne's World. I've memorized LINES to this movie.
2. The 40 Year Old Virgin. I can't isolate one awesome scene, but I will say that I bonded with my 14 year old stepdaughter over the part where Steve Carrell is getting waxed and yells out "Kelly Clarkson!!!"
3. Knocked Up. Just for the "F-You Hormones!!" scene alone.
4. Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I don't think a lot of comedies would be made if this movie wasn't first.
5.The Jerk. Another movie that "went there" before other movies.
6.Shrek. God, I love this movie.
7.The Muppet Movie. Fozzy= Awesomeness.
8. Dumb and Dumber. We watch it every time it is on cable. I think Dennis knows the lines in English and in Spanish.
9. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. For many reasons, including Kumar's explanation for why he doesn't have to get into Med School.
10. Young Frankenstein. I think it's one of those movies that has to be on a comedy list. And the "putting on the ritz" scene is just genius. RIP Peter Boyle.

No Longer Purse Accessories.

It is official. The Chihuauas are striking back and working to rewrite years of shame and emasculation. No longer will their spokesperson be Tinkerbell, aka Paris Hilton's purse accessory. No longer will they be sought after as cute little pipsqueaks that you can dress up in Juicy Couture dog clothes.

I can tell this movie is going to be straight up gangsta. With a G/PG Disney rating, of course.

Ten Movies That I've Intended to Watch but Haven't...

Or in some cases, movies that I am avoiding on purpose...
1. Dr. Zhivago - looks boring
2. Schindler's List- looks depressing
3. Superbad- it's on my netflix queue but I just haven't seen it yet.
4. Amelie- always been something I've been meaning to see...
5. Shakespeare In Love- didn't see it when it came out, now kind of want to see it but kind of don't anymore...
6. The Incredibles/Cars/Shark Tales/etc.- I want to see them but I don't have kids so I haven't actively pursued them.
7. All the Lord of the Rings movies after the first one. I'm not against LOTR but I feel like I have to spend a whole day on them...
These Last Three for the same reason: They all have depressing endings, according to people who have either spoiled the ending for me, or who have simply said "it was really depressing". And I don't really feel like seeing a depressing movie.
8. King Kong
9. Million Dollar Baby
10. Atonement

the new photo on my cellphone!

Best Week Ever poses the question: If the writer's strike cancels the grammy's, will anyone ever thank Jesus?

I do understand that just as you could drink every time Hulk Hogan says "Brother" on "American Gladiators", you could drink for when an artist thanks Jesus or God, while watching the Grammys. But the biggest props go to this handy Jesus graphic.

Not Safe For Children's Ears....

But this is how Dennis and I feel. Today. Hormones.

Friday's Feast

PS: We saw the Simpsons movie. It's exactly what you'd expect from the Simpsons.
And this is going to be in my head for the rest of the weekend:

The closing credit version:


Friday's Feast
Appetizer
Describe a toy you remember from your childhood.
I remember begging my parents for a Nintendo with Super Mario 1 and Duck Hunt. And then begging them for the other Super Mario games. I got pretty good at Duck Hunt.

Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest) how observant are you?
2. I miss a lot. Tom Cruise could walk by and I would be clueless. Dennis, on the other hand, catches EVERYTHING.

Salad
Where would you rather be at this very moment?
At this moment, I would rather be where I am right now (in my comfy leather chair) but with free-flowing margaritas.

Main Course
When was the last time you learned something new?
I'm in school all the time so I'm always learning something I didn't know before. I learned recently that Italy has the most vacation time (42 days).

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I have ____________ but I haven’t ____________.
I have been to South America but I haven't been to Europe. (Boring answer. Sorry.)

Ten Favorite Movies From Childhood

Ten Movies from my childhood: Ten Movies (12 actually) that I watched again and again/ that were always played at slumber parties/that I still watch and think about "the good old days"....
1. The Goonies
2. The Witches
3. Drop Dead Fred
4. The Little Mermaid
5. A Christmas Story
6. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
7. Back to the Future (and it's sequels)
8. Revenge of the Nerds (and it's sequels)
9. Encino Man
10. Ghost Busters
Bonus:
11. E.T.
12. Flight of the Navigator

Volver...

it's not her singing (I think that's obvious but I think some people automatically don't like the movie just because she's not really singing)... (At any rate this is one of my favorite scenes in the film).
We bought "Volver" and watched it this evening- it's a weird movie and definitely fits into "chick flick" category but I liked it and Dennis wasn't disappointed (he's a tough critic). It was fun to watch because I watched it without subtitles and so for part of the time, I kind of had to guess what was going on. So I got a lot of the story but I missed some of the jokes and a lot of the cultural things (I think that it was probably poorly subtitled anyway).

And Penelope Cruz is HOT. I say it with heterosexual married woman confidence and it helps to know that her ass is as fake as her voice in the film. But even with the ass implants or whatever they used, she is very sexy. I will admit two things:
1)I cannot tell you the difference between the Spanish from Spain accent used by the women in this film and the Argentine accent but Dennis assures me that it is there and
2) I mispronounced the name of this film for months, which is strange because I know spanish enough to know basic verbs. I thought it was "Vol- ver" like "revolver" (like the "o" in "volleyball" and "er" like "poster")
But it's "volver" (to return, duh) with the "o" like in "bowl" and the "e" like "Erin"

we went to the movies...

I got my name in lights with notcelebrity.co.uk


And we saw "Knocked Up. It was really cute and I was pleased to not be disappointed. And I still want a baby.

List of things to do before I turn 30:
1. Finish Grad School
2. Live in a real apartment off Pepperdine Campus, where I can have a pet dog and alcohol.
3. Get a resume.
4. Get a job.
5. Finally start trying to have the much wanted baby.
6. Have a baby.

10 Favorite Movies to Quote

Ten Favorite Movies to Quote
(Don't have much time to do anything else- school just started and I'm on this "clean as you go so the house stays clean" kick)

1. The 40 year old Virgin: how many times when I'm driving do I say "that F*#@@er came out of nowhere!!"
2. The Wedding Singer- There is this awesome part where the guy is singing a cover of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" ("I really you now! I F#$@ing need you more than everrr...")
3. My Best Friend's Wedding "Crème brûlée can never be Jell-O. YOU could never be Jell-O."
4. Any Shrek movie- "He's wearing a thong!!"
5. Wayne's World (1 or 2)="A gun rack... a gun rack. I don't even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do... with a gun rack?"
6. Any Star Wars movie - Dennis walks around saying things like "my little jedi" all the time...
7. Any Austin Powers movie: "Get in my belly!!"
8. Monty Python and the Holy Grail: "I am your king" ..."Well I didn't vote for you!"
9. Dumb and Dumber: "Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!"
10. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?: "Dear Jessica: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. One one-thousand. Two one-thousand. Three one-thousand. Four one-thousand. Five...?"

random movie reviews...

earlier this week (sunday actually), I went to rent videos. This is a big deal because I haven't watched a rented movie by myself in years. It took me at least 30 minutes to make a decision because I have just forgotten the art of renting movies. I chose two movies I knew Dennis wouldn't care to see.

1st movie: "La Mujer de mi Hermano"-


Manolo Cardona and Christian Meier (a Colombian and a Peruvian) in a (Peruvian written- Dennis thinks this little detail makes all the difference) story where they are brothers sharing, basically, the older brother's wife. It was a bit like an R-rated soap opera but my jaw dropped at the twists and I recommend it as a chick flick. I told Dennis the story and I was right, he wouldn't want to see it. It wasn't great music wise or cinematography wise but it was interesting. I think it took place in Mexico (not sure) and the main characters are wealthy and live better than I do. Great house, great pool, great clothes.

2nd movie: "In the Mouth of Madness"- I've got no idea why I wanted to see this movie. I do know why: I wanted to see it when I was a kid, back in 1995, and I think Sam Neill is a very good-looking and appealing old British guy who I adored in "Jurassic Park".

It's supposed to be a scary movie but the effects were pretty ridiculous, the female characters were absurd, the plot was kind of absurd too, and it was tame enough that I could eat a spinach salad while people that kind of looked like zombies walked around with morphed out creatures that kind of remind me of the alien monster in "Alien". It felt like something I'd see on cable only instead of getting the edited version where the character says "Get Lost!!" and you know he's really saying "F*%K YOU!!" in poorly dubbed censorship... I got the real "f" words.

so. I am thankful that I chose not to rent the second "Pirates of the Carribean" or "Friends with Money", I do regret at least the 2nd movie, which was certainly not worth $5. The first was good but it would have been better if I had watched it with one of my girl friends.


And to the very least, all three of the male leads in these movies are pretty attractive in my opinion. (Actually, it was interesting seeing all of these guys in R-rated situations too- usually they are either fighting off StevenSpeilbergdinosaurs or playing Zorro/Main Romantic lead in a telenovela on Telemundo where the worst word you can say is "Damn!" or "Maldita!" and the most sexual activity you get is "hey! He's kissing her neck! Oh wow! I think I saw toungue??) You are free to doubt the sex appeal of Sam Neill who is probably as old as my father-in-law but I challenge anyone to say that the latin boys in the first film are not hot.

And this really all means I need my husband back at home, where he belongs.